What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

How do you go about getting invited to an orgy?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

What! how could you do that?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

How do I write a character’s physical description without it feeling unnatural and clunky? I’m able to describe their hair and body relatively easily because my writing puts emphasis on small movements and fidgeting, but I can’t describe faces.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

What do you mean son?

Do you know what she said mum?

What's the most sordid activity you've ever seen or heard about at a bachelorette party?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

What are some hard rock or heavy metal bands that are overrated?

True - how I loved my mum!

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Im a 14 year old girl who doesnt want to wear a hijab but my parents force me to wear one. It makes me dislike it more. Im not ready for one no matter what people say and they get really mad at me. I have bad grades and no motivation. What do I do?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!